Why children need mental health days, too – especially right now

In recent years, some companies have begun to encourage their employees to take days off for mental health, self-care or wellness. Even companies that do not officially designate free time for mental well-being can allow workers to use personal days, sick days or other free breaks for such reasons. (And the sad reality is that millions of American workers have not yet paid for medical leave at all).

Just as adults occasionally need a day off to take care of their mental health, so do children – a concept that is gaining more traction. In 2018, Utah lawmakers expanded the definition of excused school absence to include mental as well as physical illness. The following year, Oregon passed a similar law that recognizes mental or behavioral health issues as valid reasons to miss school. Other states have followed suit by adopting (or proposing) similar measures.

Last year’s pandemic was tough for all of us, but the kids endured it lot. They were suddenly thrown into distance education, isolated from their friends and relatives, unable to participate in extracurricular activities and forced to adapt to other major changes, while managing great uncertainty.

“Now that we are entering a full year since the beginning of the pandemic, children are exhausted,” Ann-Louise Lockhart – appediatric psychologist at A New Day Pediatric Psychology and parent coach – said HuffPost. “Many feel isolated, anxious, bored and depressed. They feel tired, discouraged and incredibly unmotivated. ”

Now, the children face a new challenge: returning to class after a year at home. Some children may be excited to resume personal learning, while others are worried about going back to school.

They may be worried about getting COVID-19, who they will play with or stay with, or how they will recover from school if they are left behind. Students who have received relief from personal aggression during distance learning may fear that they will be taken again, said Michele Borba, an educational psychologist and author of the forthcoming book “Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Some Children they fight and others shine ”.

The idea is that children have a lot on their plates and deserve a day of mental health as much as anyone – especially right now. Below, the children’s experts explain why it might be a good idea, how to know if your child needs a day off and other ways to support them.

Beyond the obvious benefit of having your child take such a long break, parents who give their children permission to take care of their mental health send important messages.

First of all, it shows that you give priority to self-care – and that they should too. In a culture that often celebrates work to the point of exhaustion, the child’s memory that it’s OK to slow down is strong. It signals that you care more about their mental and emotional well-being than about external measures of success, such as grades or other awards.

“In many families, the message was to work harder, keep going and be strong,” Lockhart said. “While there is value in many messages of perseverance and persistence, we must also send the message that balance and rest are important.”

Sometimes children feel the need to lie to their parents and say they are physically ill to lose school. However, encouraging your child to take a day of mental health provides an opportunity to have an honest conversation about whatever they are struggling with.

In addition, they get into the habit of checking with themselves regularly, instead of solving mental health problems only after they reach the boiling point.

“A break to take time for mental health and well-being helps teach children to assess their difficulties and address them accordingly,” said clinical psychologist Cindy T. Graham of the Brighter Hope Wellness Center. “Rather than waiting until someone is experiencing a complete episode of depression, for example, it is important to learn to see your early warning signs and implement appropriate coping techniques.”

How your child reacts to stress may look different depending on their personality and temperament, Graham said. Some children may verbally express that they are overwhelmed, anxious, or sad – some may be more reserved than usual. Others may show that they are stressed by their behavior; they may become more clingy or more dependent on you.

Disinterest or lack of enjoyment in the hobbies or activities they once enjoyed is an indicator that parents can look for. Withdrawal from friends and family is another matter.

“They are becoming more and more disconnected from others and isolated from friends, with a lesser desire to have meaningful social connections,” Lockhart said.

You may also notice changes in their usual routines, such as sleeping too much or too little or increasing or decreasing your appetite.

Differences in mood can also be signs that you need to be careful about.

“Notice more irritability, anger, or low tolerance for frustrating or disappointing events,” Lockhart said.

While giving your child a break from school can provide short-term stress relief, it will not help manage long-term mental or emotional health. If your child is having a stressful week, this is one thing. But if you show the above signs over the course of weeks or months, then parents should consider connecting them with a therapist.

“Recurrent symptoms of mental health difficulties should be addressed by a licensed clinician to give your child the best chance to learn strategies that suit them and their situation,” Graham said.

Start by helping your child identify their main sources of stress and come up with some healthy coping strategies. Graham suggested a few, such as journaling, creating a video diary, drawing or writing a poem or song. You may also schedule an appointment with their therapist for them if they have one.

If you can, consider the day off and plan a trip or activity together, Lockhart suggested, although this is not always possible. However, be sure to check in with the baby during the day to see how they are feeling.

“Keeping questions open and encouraging your child to say what he or she has in mind in a ‘no judgment’ area helps promote feelings of security in communicating difficult feelings,” Graham said.

Give your child permission to rest, recharge, and give up any guilt they may experience in order to take time off. Remind them that a mental health day is not about eliminating responsibilities, Graham said. “It is, in fact, the opposite: to keep your responsibility to take care of your mental and emotional well-being. ”

Beyond taking an occasional day off, it’s important for parents to build up regularly in time to talk – and tend to – the well-being of the family, Borba said.

“A family time for daily mental health – walking, exercising, reading, taking deep breaths, playing in the sand, coming back, listening to soothing music – can be powerful in helping children recognize well-being. mental health – not just GPA and test results – matters, ”Borba said. “Children can practice those decompression, coping strategies and identify those that work for them and then use them for the rest of their lives.”