It is likely to change. For many, myself included, anxiety strikes even before a blow hits the arm. “Anticipating social interactions is often the hardest part,” says Brown. “The anticipatory anxiety of what will be might actually be worse than the reality of how bad the anxiety actually is once you get here, but it’s that accumulation period that can be very nervous for people.” Welcome to the accumulation period.
The good news is that we can alleviate these symptoms. The first step is to stay present. Easier said than done, but when you feel future-oriented thoughts creep in, Brown says, try to catch them and remember not to worry about summer until, well, summer. “When we think about the future, we feel anxious and when we think about the past, we tend to feel sad. Thus, the goal is, as much as possible, to try to stay only here and now. ”
Above all, we need to make arrangements to be nice to ourselves. Richard Heimberg, a professor of psychology at Temple University and former director of his Adult Anxiety Clinic, notes that this kindness will be especially needed, as both anxious and non-anxious people will have a certain “rust.” Even things that felt second nature in the Before Times, such as commuting or working in an office, could cause some discomfort after a whole year without practice. “The level of anxiety we have [all] I feel that, in general, it will be increased because of health problems and because of problems related to rust, “he says.” It is important to make sure that any objectives we have set ourselves we treat them as aspirational rather than prescriptive.
“If we expect to behave perfectly,” says Heimberg, “then we will fight even if we do not reach that standard.” For some, the reappearance could be more of a slow motion than a clean break through our shells, and that’s OK. “It’s about accepting that everyone else is just as worried about what we think of them as the other way around. And it’s about giving us the chance to simply be human. ”
With lives on line, the threat of Covid-19 has empowered many of us with the confidence to say no – to others and to ourselves. Some of the social outlets I managed to block came fortunately with an extra layer of sensitivity from friends and family. I did my best to offer them the same thing. Perhaps most importantly, circumstances led me to extend that policy of acceptance without judgment. And I’m not ready to give it up.
Do not have to. That honesty with ourselves and others about what we feel comfortable with and what we actually do want do not have to disappear with the virus. In fact, the whole practice of browsing conversations about the settings and activities we’re good at, in terms of the virus, could leave us better.
“This pandemic has created a language for people to start expressing how their level of comfort might be different from that of their friends, and I think that’s a great start,” says Brown. “When the context is different and the virus is less of a reason you can’t engage socially, I think people will have to set those limits for themselves … Not that they should say no to everything, but that they would you have to say yes to things that could bring you joy. ”
In a perfect world, Marie Kondo would love the hell out of my social life after the vaccine – doing the things I enjoy and saying no to the things I don’t. I would blow up the pandemic bubble without losing sight of my pandemic. Of course, it’s never been that simple. I’m still the same person. Expectations will inevitably slip. Occasionally I will do things I don’t want to do, or I will look around and wonder if my decisions are the right ones. But fortunately, I’ll be a little kinder to you along the way.