Note: This feature contains some spoilers for a very old game and a remake of that very old game.
Any Final Fantasy fan might want to stop reading right now. That’s right, the first sentence. Admission Time: I’ve never played Cloud Strife’s seminal adventure on the original PlayStation and no other Final Fantasy title. The closest I got was to see my cousin playing Final Fantasy IX; I remember being fascinated by this, but I would be lying if I said I understood what was happening on the screen. In essence, I have zero affection for the franchise. I don’t think games are bad, I just never got into them. However, something has changed recently: Final Fantasy VII Remake has been made available to PS Plus members.
At first, I thought I’d ignore him, but how could I give him a chance to play for free? This is a remake of a game that (more or less) popularized western JRPGs on its own. It is a game commonly recognized as All Timer, one of the great, a masterpiece. Demand for a remake has been strong since 2005 and how could you not do you feel the excitement when it was finally announced at E3 10 years later? People really like this game about a muscular man with a bad name, and now they can play the remake for free. I think I should, I thought.
Before I started, though, I thought it would be fun to involve my Push Square co-workers. I know very well that I’m not a big fan of JRPGs, so I wondered how far through the game they thought they would get before naming it a day. Robert Ramsey had the greatest faith in me, I bet I would see to the end. Sammy Barker was less sure, putting his money on me, giving up the second time you go through the sewer. Liam Croft was the least optimistic, claiming that I would not start the game at all. Very good, challenge accepted.
Spoiler: I started the game. Without nostalgia for the original and without any reference point, I started looking for curiosity. All I knew coming in, after absorbing bits of information over the years, was that you were playing like a man named Cloud, and someone named Aerith was killed halfway. I saw the clip. Absolutely cream-cracked of an ugly sword guy. Just completely chopped.
Anyway, the first impressions were very good. The opening cutscene is fantastic; it has this amazingly large scale, immediately shrinking to show you the absurd scale of Midgar. The cinematic quality is there and it really caught me in the beginning. Introducing the Avalanche team, with Barrett, Biggs, Wedge, Jessie and, of course, Cloud Strife. I’m afraid to say that Cloud’s jump off the train to land on the platform didn’t seem as cool to me. This is not a cool guy. Who does this? He immediately cemented me that this guy is a bit of a shower. However, I could not write everything on this alone.
Unfortunately for Final Fantasy VII Remake, the characters open their mouths and talk. I’m sorry, any fan still reads despite my initial warning, but I didn’t like the dialogue very much. Of course, some of them are perfect, but I was amazed at how predictable the characters are – they immediately fall into classic archetypes. I found it impossible to attach to Biggs and Wedge, who feel from the very beginning, but personally I could not get on board with the characterization and dialogue in general. I understand that Remake is just the first part of a bigger project, but everyone felt very one-dimensional for me. I also understand that this is a remake of a 1997 game, so of course there will be an awkward or broken dialogue. Even with that in mind, I struggled with the script and characters for most of my time with the game.
One aspect I enjoyed was the fight. At first, it seemed too complex. It looks like a hack-n-slash action game, but it’s not really; basic attacks are just a way to load your corresponding moves, accessed in the ATB menu. It’s a weird hybrid of real-time action and selection commands, but once I wrapped my head around it – as well as the frequent change of characters – I found it quite satisfying. The fights with bosses in particular have become a highlight for me, finding out their weaknesses and exploiting them as best I could. I also liked the general flair of the fight, with extraordinary animations and effects, while throwing magic and cutting with oversized swords.
I think a highlight for me was actually the crazy mission with the bike type. I had to look up his name and it’s Roche. Cloud and the gang ride motorcycles to get to Jessie’s old house and do some business with the Avalanche, but this man gets up, spinning his bike like a conker on a string, and it’s so ridiculous. Fighting with him while driving was one thing, but he reappears and is a sight to behold. I think I liked the game the most in these moments, when he is not afraid to embrace the absurd. Another example would be the moment when you literally fight a demonic house. I had never seen this before.
Unfortunately, things had started to weaken for me until I reached the Don Corneo section. The game is extremely inconsistent in its pace and even in terms of its visual quality and I found that everything is quite annoying. We almost gave up the part where you have to operate the robotic arms to move the shipping containers – so clumsy and, more importantly, completely useless. The game is much longer than it should be because of sections like this, and indeed I think these are the ones that kept me from playing the game.
That’s right – not only was Liam wrong when I started, but Robert was wrong to finish. Sammy won the bet in the end, but I didn’t make it until the second sewer section (one was plentiful). Where did I call her? The haunted yard of the train. To be clear, it wasn’t this part of the game that made me give up the controller, I just left it there. I think I’ve gotten to a point where I’m just tired of the whole thing.
The little things were starting to scratch – you had to hold down the Triangle to pull the levers (but not all the time!), The Forced Walking Sections, the dialogue, some weird serious scenes and more. In addition, things that were clearly meant to support fans for a long time were completely lost on me. Things like Sephiroth that appear sporadically, for example, have lost their impact, because I haven’t fully understood (and still don’t) why it’s a big problem. I appreciate that people love the original and love the remake, but for me I just got tired of the stupidity of the game. I would turn on my PS5 and think about what I should play. Final Fantasy VII Remake would cross my mind and I would sigh. I couldn’t keep it up – especially knowing there were so many hours to go.
I accepted that it is not for me and it is okay. I can live with that. I’m glad I tried hard, but I think that will probably be between me and Final Fantasy. Funny enough, Liam hadn’t played the original before playing Remake and he absolutely liked it, so don’t let me disappoint you if you’re in the same boat. I’m not sure what the moral of the story is, to be honest. I mean, you trust your instincts, but at the same time, if you are given the opportunity to try new things, you should. Are these messages in conflict? Cam. We’re stopping the function now.
Are you empathetic about Stephen’s assessment of the Final Fantasy VII Remake? Did you fight similarly to a beloved game? Sprinkle Phoenix Down in the comments section below.