March was, to our surprise, a real banner month for highly publicized cumshots. We foolishly thought the highlight of the month is accomplished with basketball “a little hand sanitizer” a few weeks ago and all the news adjacent to the semen should wait while the world sat down in a tired stupor and recharged. But now we have learned that a group of scientists at the University of Arizona have proposed throwing a large amount of sperm and egg samples per month.
The plan was drafted at this year’s Aerospace Conference of the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers – long known as the most erotic engineering conference. In the a video clip from the event (SFW, despite its many terrible references to “lunar pits” and “lava tubes””) the University of Arizona team proposed creating a “modern arc” beneath the moon’s surface, containing a biological treasure of animal fluids.
The ark would consist of a giant bank of semen, sunk deep in some of the many holes of the moon, engraved in lava, to preserve the genetic material in case the Earth is annihilated due to events outside or under human control. Because these monthly pits are protected from changes in temperature and radiation, they provide an ideal solution for storing reproductive material that allows life to continue.
The Arizona team suggests that advanced robots would be needed to move through the extremely cold lunar vaults and manipulate the samples. We do not know how feasible this is, because our formal science education has stopped before the phase that allows you to formulate concepts such as “fill the moon with semen.” No matter, you know what they say: Shoot for the moon, and your rocket full of a massive library of frozen semen should at least reach the stars.
[via Vice]
Send great tips on the Internet to [email protected]
G / O Media may receive a commission