It’s that time of year again: a big publication has decided that children play too many games and this time it’s a COVID-flavored special, thanks to the New York Times, designed to make parents feel guilty for their they left the children full of energy. play video games after you’ve been co-opted all day doing online school.
I’m not going to pretend that video games are actually perfect, although it is tempting to go on the defensive here. There are a lot of predatory practices in games, such as microtransactions and the mechanics of gambling, that can easily seduce children to become addicted. In addition, the last two generations – those who grew up with technology – are so common that everything is served on one screen, that we often strive to be alone with ourselves for any length of time, without having one in our face. Yes, we all take the phones to the bathroom. Yes, we play Switch on the couch while watching movies. Can you blame us? The technology is so delicious and the life is so short.
But I want these publications to take children’s views into account. They got bored! They are trapped inside! They miss their friends! Where is the empathy for this generation of children who spend a significant proportion of their lives in a global pandemic, where nothing they do is right, learning is almost impossible, and governments continue to rewrite the rules?
Honestly, if I were a child in all this, I would be outraged.
It’s not a hyperbolic statement when I say that video games have kept me healthy in all this. If this pandemic had happened in the early 2000s, I would have been in touch with my friends only through MSN Messenger, limited to short text and spam of the withered rose emoji to symbolize how sad we were. I would have had my little Game Boy Advance game library to have fun. I probably would have read more books, but they would be books I’ve read anyway.
In 2020, I can ping my friends on Discord and run into a virtual world with them in minutes.
NYT references have increased online use, being associated with anxiety, depression, obesity and aggression, which – in my experience – may be true. Accessing Twitter makes me anxious. Trying to defeat a difficult platformer, such as Guacamelee or Ori and the Blind Forest, makes me stressed. Playing games all day and not going out makes me gain weight.
Do you know what else is true? Wrapping up with Hades actively helps me when I’m anxious, because it gives me something to focus on. Playing Ring Fit Adventure every morning not only helps me stay fit, it makes me who I am active I want you to go out and get more exercise. Streaming games help me feel less alone in a pandemic where I am separated from almost all my friends.
A few weeks ago, around New Year’s Eve, we played among ourselves for the first time with a group of friends. I haven’t seen them in a year and a half – they live in England, I live in Canada and we’re in a pandemic, so we fly across the ocean for a cup of tea and a curse is bad.
Now, we’ve never killed any of these friends on a spaceship in real life, so take that with a pinch of salt, but when we play games together, it feels great to get out. Even when those games are about betrayal and lying (which I did with great success, by the way). We also play Dungeons and Dragons together, watch Bridgerton together and play cooperative games like Animal Crossing and PHOGS !, when we can find the time. I don’t feel trapped in a house on the other side of the sea, unable to get out – I feel like I have a rich (albeit virtual) life.
My partner and I spend most evenings in front of a screen. Sometimes we do puzzles while watching a movie; sometimes we play Final Fantasy VII Remake together; sometimes we gather a few friends together to demolish each other at Puyo Puyo Tetris. The key is moderation – we cook together, go for walks in the city and eat most of our meals at the table. We even banned phones at bedtime, so we read or talk instead. This balance has been hard to come by and we are slipping a lot. But when I lived separately in the first few months of the pandemic, I played Minecraft for hours together. That time was no less high quality than the time we spend without a screen. Games have enriched our lives and relationships, and life would be very different without it.
To see a bunch of kids getting more and more depressed and worried during one unprecedented global pandemic, and then blame the depression on games – their only version and perhaps their main way of socializing – is unfair and unfair and comes from a place of fear of what we do not understand.
I grew up with games. I understand their attraction and dangers. I will not pretend to know anything about raising a child because I have never had a child (although I was one once), so I will not teach anyone how to raise their children. I know these songs are written for exasperated parents who want their fears to be confirmed when their child gets angry that Wi-Fi is off. I understand.
But children are also human. They are alone, probably scared and want a way to escape a little. Do you remember how stressful the baby was? It doesn’t seem like much for adults, who have real responsibilities and jobs, but have to go to school every day is wayyyy more taxation than most jobs, where you can mostly do the thing you’re good at and get paid for it. There are social dynamics to navigate, basic human functions to discover, and the frightening vague threat of puberty, all trying to remember when Henry VIII died. Wouldn’t you like to play games at the end of the same thing?
Yes, we would all prefer that the children are outside, running, making friends and soaking in the sun. Right now, though, we’re just trying to survive through this, physically and mentally. Video games are not scary. They are not evil. They are just another way to have fun, and many of them are just very good.
I keep thinking about this one quote from the NYT article:
The family dog died on New Year’s Eve, and James said playing with his friends helped him not think about losing. It targeted her mother, Kathleen Reichert, who felt that her son was escaping the emotions of real life.
“What will you do when you are married and stressed? Tell your wife you have to play Xbox? She told her son during the interview.
Listen, one day this child will grow up and maybe marry someone. He will continue to play Xbox, because that was his childhood. He will probably play more games to connect with friends and deal with his emotions. Is it the healthiest way to cope? Maybe not. Is it better than not doing at all? You bet your ass. I just hope this kid finds a wife he can tell “I’ll play Xbox” and she’ll understand. Maybe he’ll even join.