Have you ever wondered what the attitudes of an unhappy person are like? While everyone experiences negative thoughts from time to time, the way we handle our attitudes toward negative things can make a big difference between trust and fear; hope versus despair; domination versus victimization and victory versus defeat.
According to a column published in the journal Psychology Today, several studies have revealed how negative attitudes can harm health, happiness and well-being. The author of this publication, Preston Ni, classifies eight negative thoughts presented to unhappy people, based on his book “How to give up negative thoughts and emotions.”
1. Self-destructive speech
This is defined as messages that we send ourselves, which we lose confidence and our performance decreases. Moreover, they minimize our potential, sabotaging our success.
For the communication teacher, self-destructive speech includes phrases such as: “I can’t; “I’m not good enough”; “I don’t feel safe”; “I don’t have what it takes”; – I will fail.
Participating in a regular speech of self-destruction is like having one fake friend that makes you feel bad all day. You become your worst enemy and detractor.
2. Negative hypotheses
One of the ways to think negatively is take stock of a situation or interaction, assuming negative things. For many people, this attitude of “half-empty glass” is automatic; it could be a rainy day or pay the bills as negative experiences on “autopilot”.
For Preston NiThere is nothing totally positive or negative about everyday things, such as traffic, weather or paying bills. The way you choose to relate to your surroundings is what makes certain situations positive or negative.
This choice can instantly make you stronger or weaker, happier or sadder. Given these situations, one might see one as an opportunity to listen to relaxing music or practice careful breathing; a rainy day as an opportunity to lie down at home with a hot chocolate and a good book; or paying bills as an opportunity to practice the “pay first” wealth payment strategy. It’s all about how you choose to relate at the moment.
3. Negative comparison with others
One of the easiest and most common ways to feel bad about yourself is comparing yourself negatively with others. We can be exposed to compare ourselves with those who have more achievements, seem more attractive, earn more money or show their lives through social networks.
When it comes to having what the other person has and you feel jealous of them, the feeling of inferiority increases, having a moment of negative social comparison. Research indicates that common negative social comparisons can cause a person to experience increased stress, anxiety, depression and make self-destructive decisions
4. Return negatively to the past
Preston Ni details you need learn from the past, but not be caught in it. Sometimes life circumstances and personal failures can haunt us and prevent us from seeing our true potential. We cannot change what has already happened, but we can also shape and influence what is to happen.
To recognize new opportunities, sometimes the first step is to break with the past and declare that you are your story and not your story.
5. Empowering beliefs about difficult people
During our lives we meet difficult people and challenging individuals, that it is tempting to believe that they are the perpetrators and we are the victims. Such attitudes, even if justified, They are reactive and generate psychological and emotional wear and tear.
The key to changing your strong beliefs about difficult people is to move from being reactive to being proactive. Whether you’re dealing with a narcissist, someone passive-aggressive, and perhaps a manipulative person, there are many skills and strategies you can use to stay abreast of the situation.
6. The desire to blame
Guilt can be defined as an attitude that makes others responsible for our misfortunes. Some people cite dysfunctional parents, negative relationships, or socioeconomic disadvantage as the causes of unhappiness and lack of success in life.
Although it is true that life presents many difficulties, cTo call others the reason for unhappiness is to put yourself in the role of victim. Often, those identified are people who don’t care how you really feel. You only hurt yourself by being a prisoner of your own bitterness and resentment.
Your feelings may be justified, but they won’t contribute to happiness, success, or a healthy lifestyle, don’t you really want to?
7. Forgive yourself
When you look at past mistakes, you may encounter decisions and actions that you regret or regret. Unhappy mistakes that have hurt or influenced other people.
So when you remember the past, there may be a sense of guilt for your mistakes or missed opportunities. You may perceive yourself as a “bad” person and just blame yourself. In these moments, it is extremely important to be compassionate with yourself, knowing that you are now more aware, you have the opportunity not to repeat the actions of the past and make a positive difference for your life and for those around you.
8. Fear of failure and making mistakes
According to Preston Ni, these sensations are often associated with perfectionism (at least in certain areas of your life). You may think that you are not good enough in some respects, putting a lot of pressure on you to succeed.
Although setting high standards can serve as a motivational tool, hoping for perfection can rob you of the joy of life, limiting your potential. Some studies have shown the correlation between perfectionism and unhappiness, and no matter how hard we try, human beings are not perfect.
For her part, the writer Helen Russel, in her book “The Atlas of Happiness”, says that although our dreams come true, it seems that we cannot be happy. “” Sadness is normal and we all feel it, however sometimes it can be very difficult to get out (or get our loved ones out) of those dark wells. ”
The author explains in her book that giving up is not the solution. Optimism is not frivolous and we can all learn to be content with being a little unhappy before, so sometimes going through episodes of unhappiness can help us find the light we lack, to achieve our goals.